Vox-pop on : How soon to move on after your spouse dies?

Read these interesting revelations to this question that I asked persons on Facebook:

How soon should you move on when your spouse dies? 

  • I think it depends on the person. Everyone grieves in their own way in their own time.
  • I think it also depends on what you mean by move on.
  • There’s no set time limit, not sure you ever really get over it. You just kind of learn to live with the grief.
  • It all depends on the individual, go and test it out. Do something small, go out to a bar, make a dating profile, etc. Just keep it light. That will give you a perfect idea of your readiness.
  • Dating is something fun. Don’t force anything and try to do it for yourself. Taking care of yourself is a major healing part of grief
  • Dating is something fun. Don’t force anything and try to do it for yourself. Taking care of yourself is a major healing part of grief
  • Depends on the person and the people Grief is very complex and personal, definitely something that shouldn’t be rushed…
  • It depends on the person and not on what society deems acceptable. Whenever you feel it’s a good moment go for it
  • Tough question. I lost my husband 6 years ago… Some days are still pretty sticky… Others, you get by and do okay… Depend.
  • My dad died 2 years ago and I doubt my mum will ever get over the loss. She misses him every day. She’s getting on with life but she will never re-partner.
  • It is so sad, but must someone bury themselves with their partner when they die? That’s going to be a hard one. A person just needs support to make sure they can find a way out of their grieving. Help them realize their partner would want them to be happy and not necessarily that they need a new person to be with, but happy again in life in general.
  • As a former clergyman, I would tell people normal life is gone for a while and it certainly isn’t ever going to be the same. Grief isn’t a disease where one develops immunity. It revisits us more frequently initially and later surprises us with tears when we didn’t expect them. Grief tinged with gratitude can later become the prevailing sense of life. Time for healing isn’t predictable but usually, two years is a relatively accurate prediction.
  • Also, a lecturer on grief I know had a general observation: Women grieve. Men often replace. But on the topic that would be when you feel you can move on, there is no set time to get over that and in some cases, there are people who never really get over our past if they learn to live with it.
  • I think it’s kind of personal, in the sense that everyone is entitled to do what pleases them best. For me personally it would take years or never because I am afraid of new relationships, afraid of starting from scratch again, to learn to trust someone new, but I wouldn’t condemn someone who finds a new partner soon after their wife or husband died, it’s their business to choose, although we might not personally endorse it if it’s too shortly after. Different people grieve differently.
  • Personal decision, but be aware of family feelings. One day at a time until you are ready.
  • Wait until you feel within yourself it’s time to move on.
  • It will be scary but when you’re ready to move forward. Also, utilize the help of your spiritual/angel guides to move you forward. Remember, we’re never alone, and nothing last forever, not even sorrow.
  • Everybody different, my dad is gone almost four years now and my mom is still single.
  • When you feel that you are really ready to. Try not to let grief and loneliness drive you to the wrong person.
  • Any time you feel comfortable within yourself…when you truly let go of the fact that he is gone…when your conscience part is telling you to let go and moved on… we never let go of our loved ones when he or she passed on but we have to know that he or she won’t be coming back, so take time to grieve seek God direction. When you are fully satisfied you can let go…
  • It not as easy as some of you say it, it takes a lot more than that. I was married for 20 years, my wife died over six years now. It’s not that I don’t let go of her knowing that she won’t come back, the problem is to find that person you want to be with. It’s not that I am looking for someone like my wife but at the same time I don’t want to settle for a lesser relationship I must be better. So, sometimes it’s just finding the person you comfortable with. But I think if you find that person and you are comfortable, you just go ahead anytime, you got no set time to do it.
  • Everybody different, my Dad is gone almost four years now and my Mom is still single.
  • When you feel that you are really ready to. Try not to let grief and loneliness drive you to the wrong person.
  • Any time you feel comfortable within yourself…when you truly let go of the fact that he is gone…when your conscience part is telling you to let go and moved on.
  • The same day the person dies
  • Right away, life is short.
  • I am hoping if they were in love, can they actually get over their grief that easily? With that said I will say do what your conscience tells you…
  • My dear life is short enjoyed memories live on following your heart if a man wife dies he needs
  • Spot on…the same day…as it happens you should be thinking how to re- adjust…death is a final thing…the person can’t care one bit. So, don’t waste time, can’t eat, can’t sleep, and can’t breathe unless you planning to see the Lord across the river… no one is in a rush to go heaven so live…
  • Let the good Lord guide you.
  • It depends on how strong your love life was, 2 years getting to know someone.
  • I wouldn’t mind my wife dead now to move on.
  • You wouldn’t understand who feels it knows it.
  • The stronger the love the longer it takes, so do the maths.
  • That depends on the person.
  • It will take a long time
  • That is up to you, sometimes u feel like u want no one and sometimes that’s what help u go on
  • That’s why one says it depends on how strong or weak the relation was. The stronger the longer, the weaker the quicker. But that person can be irreplaceable or take a long time to find that special one.
  • It’s not a set time because everyone healing time differs. What I would suggest is that that a person finds a support group this can be church friends etc. Also, have something to memorialize the person by this can be a big picture or a simple item like a perfume that once belong to him/her and cherish that item so in moving on you take the good memories of the happy times you had with such person with you. Always keep those happy memories and with the new spouse, you create new memories. Hope this makes sense.
  • Sometimes it works, l was in a relationship where it ended tragically, (shot), I couldn’t stand to keep moping around for him.
  • For me keeping special things just keep bringing back memories and I couldn’t cope at all
  • Well, I don’t have a problem keeping any memory of my wife because there are some memories you would want to keep, not that you don’t let go, but they are good memories that motivate you for the future. But sometimes you are dating someone and as they come to your home they want you removed your partner pic on your wall, forgetting that it’s my kid’s mom and that apart of them too.
  • I am not looking for someone to be like her but to be honest, I don’t want less than what I have before, my desire is simple, a woman of God, trustworthy, levelheaded, industrious, love me for me, communicate well, and loving.
  • As soon as you feel comfortable, it’s your life so live it.
  • People make jokes about I do get that…nothing is wrong with it…but being a grown man…some women are just hard to replace same as some men…..when you build some from scratch through thick and thin….she love you in spite of my shortcomings……she gives you some wonderful kids…You just keep soaring to new heights …that will take some doing to get over…..some man better to live alone because it will be unfair to have someone yet the memories still live on…..
  • Relationships now for me is different than say 10 -15 years ago….especially a new one…
  • I learn that I had to, no one could do it for me I had to take the first step, and that was to come to the terms that she is gone never to return.
  •  3 years I lost my wife and the pain is still unbearable. Don’t know when am going to get over it. I keep all the memories because I don’t know how to move on.

Conclusion

It is obtuse, and it’s very lonely to get back home to an empty home, an empty bed around evening time. It is such a morbid inclination to go on an excursion for work and realize that you have nobody to call to disclose to them that you arrived securely. It is a horrendous inclination to realize that you never again have a friend or family member to be worried about you. So, my question to you is why would you not proceed onward with your life after your spouse passes on? When there are individuals out there on the planet who could bring you extraordinary euphoria and joy? Now, you need to make a stride back and ask yourself “What do I need for myself? You are your contemplations, what you think will show, so think positive. Try not to give humanity a chance to put impediments on your life. Not every person will be for you and that you should approve of during the time spent on fulfilling your needs. So, what do you say about this question?

 

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